If I Fall, If I Die

There comes a time when I read books that are significantly impactful. I mean, all books come with impact, of course, but some hit me harder than others. If I Fall, If I Die by Michael Christie had been one of those. From the title, the book is enchanting. Calling one's name with the prospect of the word "If". Possibilities come with that word. Infinite ones. If I take this chance... If I'm brave just once... If by some chance I fall or die... The prospect of possibilities called to me, so I picked the book up.

Let me just say, I didn't expect what came to me when I opened the book (who does, really?) I was thrown into an unknown world filled with unconditioned fear and newer chances. The book starts with a eleven year old boy named Will stepping outside for the first time. No, really, for the first time. Upon entering the outside world, he manages to get a rock thrown at his head and some random kid his age is stealing the hose from his house. During this occurrence, Will is showing his strange coloring in language. It's bland, choppy, confused dialogue whereas the other kid's is more to the everyday person's speed. It leaves you asking why, though doesn't it?

Put simply, his mom's agoraphobic. Agoraphobia is the fear of places and situations that may cause panic, helplessness, or embarrassment. It was spawned when her brother and father died in an elevator accident at a grain factory and progressed so full blown she won't touch a door handle. It's described as a "Black Lagoon" by Will, as rooms are described as places he knows he'll never see because of the unsaid rule of staying inside.

But, you see, routine is boring. Especially for a boy who finally manages a taste of what he thought he could never have, or never even really wanted. He decides to go to school (he was previously "home schooled") and starts to grow. I won't go into depth because I would end up revealing too much, but I will comment on the great job Christie did with character development. Will grows from this confused sort of introvert to a true friend and an unrecognizable person, then manages to find a happy middle between both.

What the book is truly about is taking chances. Not worrying about the what-if's and not letting ourselves be ruled with fear. Will's mother even manages to break out alongside her son, in her own way. The book also touches on how we need to keep ourselves from going too far. How finding the middle man in everything is what truly leads us to happiness and contentment.

Overall, I would rate this book highly. I also highly suggest piking it up because it is a page turner you won't be able to put down. Seriously, try it. What if you like it?